Nothing's free, Nothing's easy.

This whole struggle of trying to keep my head above water is wearing me down. My son is getting older and naturally things get a little more expensive. But when you get to the point where you can't even imagine how you're going to pay for your kids lunch for the following two week after paying rent and bills, it starts to get a tad more stressful.

I'm not really sure how much longer I can keep this up, even with his dad sending me $350 bucks a month I still can't seem to make it stretch. How do people with more kids do it? how do they manage to survive? Or do they?

Man, it makes me laugh hysterically when I hear Newt Gingrich talking about Obama being the Food Stamp president and how we should demand jobs, not welfare. How he should teach the people skills to become employed and someday become the employer. Oh, this does sound good indeed. But tell me, how is he supposed to take an entire country of under-educated, under-privileged people and teach them this? Federal funded programs?! Nay you say, less government remember?

Fuck Gingrich, he obviously has a very narrow perspective of what it really means to be a leader or live in poverty, and if he ever lived in poverty and had to work his way to the top, then he has clearly forgotten. A leader takes his people and rises them above him in spirit and health, in wealth and education, and in spite of the economic situation. Sure, this is not easy, and if he Robin Hoods (take from the wealthy to give to the poor) it to accomplish this, then so be it. I mean for fucks sake, why does human being need $3,000,000 a year?? Seriously?

Anyway, Fuck Gingrich and Romney while we're at it.

I hate FEDEX and Erik too.

I just ran up a flight of stairs, then ran down. Fuck you Erik for going to FedEx and making this happen.

What does one do?

Charlie Sheen needs to take an extended vacation on a remote island with nothing more than a pad of paper and a pen. I mean as entertaining as it is to watch his whole life break into pieces (I don't really find this entertaining by the way), I'm pretty sick of the fucking updates.

Japan, now that is tragic. No tigers blood involved in this series of events. How do people come back from this? How does a country recover as a whole? Earthquakes, tsunami's, thousands dead, thousands more injured, millions in mourning. I couldn't imagine.

I try to think on a small scale when it comes to helping others. Starting at home, family, friends, and eventually reaching out towards community, city, state, and country. But once again (keeping other natural disasters around the world in mind), I am reminded that I cannot keep the blinders on without feeling some sort of negligence towards humanity. I can do all the candy drives, food drives, and lending of hand I want, but the truth is still there. Life and death are happening and I cannot just shut my eyes and cover my ears and pretend that by doing so, that shit isn't going on.

I watched the video of the tsunami hitting at least a dozen times, I watched as people climbed higher to get away from the rapidly rising water. I watched as the large vehicles bobbed in the water like a child's toy in a bath. This was no joke, there was no detaching from this. It was sad, frustrating, and painful to watch. Flipping the channel did not make the images go away. Laying in bed, all I couldn't think was, there are thousands out there without a thing to keep them warm, nourished, and safe. Here I am, laying in bed warm and cozy, and there they are - living the worst nightmare.

I have a million thought clusters overriding each other at this point. I don't even know how to sort them to make sense. Hopefully, there is a way we can all help and get them back to some sort of normalcy. For now, I am sending all my good thoughts, good vibes, peace, love, and health to everyone involved.

May they be free of hunger, pain, and frustration so they can help themselves as well.

Violetita.

@violetitaporfvr
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